Witty retorts.

One of the drivers at my depot don't mince his words when it comes to annoying passengers. The other day he had a one stop wonder try to get on his bus. He got a threat of being reported when he said to her "When you die can I have your legs?" She asked why, to which he replied "Well they can't have seen much use from you can they?"
Another time he got called extremely rude by some old biddies when they demanded to know what had happened to the 9.35 75 route. The driver replied: "How should I know? I've got two balls hanging between my legs but neither of them are crystal!!"

Unfortunately sarcasm is wasted on the OAP's

Indeed. The best option is to a/ learn a few words of a foreign language and offer that up or b/ tell them where the office is in town to complain too. I mostly reply with "I'm responsible for this bus, and (a) it's on time, (b) xx minutes late or (c) I've no idea either. If they want to push it I would shrug my shoulders and tell them I'm not the controller.

They're always complaining and moaning and rarely believe the excuse anyway. Sometimes I'll end up waiting time at stops and they'd moan as well, so I can't win. I've tried explaining in the past but most don't think it applies to this bus.

Blakeyhammer wrote:Unfortunately sarcasm is wasted on the OAP's

Mind you the driver in question is semi-retired, so I suppose he is a pensioner himself!

a

One passenger on rail replacement complained when they didn't notice the bus stop at their stop. Half way down the road "Do you go to London Road or not"? Driver: "Why didn't you get off when we stopped there"?

Passenger: "You didn't say. Isn't that your job"?

Driver: "No, my job is to drive the bus"?

Pass: "Well i think you should in future"

Driver:"No I'm a driver not a bloody tourist information point"