Toss pot passenger!

Had a right toss pot on my bus today. Gets on and asks for a £5 return. He then slaps down half a ton of 20ps and proceeds to laugh at me as he says "You can count it if you want."
I says "Excuse me mate but I wouldn't of dream of doing that to you. And for that I'm not accepting all this change, as I'm not prepared to count it!"
Funny enough the bloke finds a £5 note in his wallet. He says "I had better check there is only one there as I don't want to give you too much!!" He picks up his 20ps and goes to walk off. Just before he walks away he says "By the way my name is Steven not Mate!"
I replies "Well MATE, I'm not a mind read am I!" In my mind I was thinking: Are you sure your name is Steve and not DICK!!!

Yes he does sound like he is a complete and utter 'Richard Cranium'

HA! I'm the sort of driver that is never late through my own fault. My husband never watches time & is regularly late for work but I'm a good time keeper so when I'm on a bus but stuck in traffic or some other reason for the bus to be late back to the stop & some passenger moans YOU'RE LATE! I reply, (mock horror) 'I'm LATE? Oh no! My son will have a little brother or sister!'
The expression on the dopey passengers face is a picture!